Juana Maria (2023) - Play - S Etana

23 Sep, 2026

Juana Maria

Written in the years following my conversion and the lockdowns of 2020. It uses the true story of Juana Maria—the 'Lone Woman' who spent eighteen years isolated on an island off California—to explore zealotry, spiritual isolation, and imperial encroachment. Clunky in places, but thematically heavy.

CHARACTERS:

FRIAR RUBIO

CARL DITTMAN

EVELYN DITTMAN

MALQUAIRES

GEORGE NIDEVER

THOMAS JEFFRIES

DR. LIBRADO

ARASIO TALAWIYASHWIT

JUANA MARIA

PORT AUTHORITY

SHERIFF

CHEF

SAILOR

FIRST MONK

SECOND MONK

FIRST DRUNK

SECOND DRUNK

THIRD DRUNK

BARMAN

FIRST PUNTER

SECOND PUNTER

B.H.

BARBARA

NICK

TIMELINE:

1810: Collapse of the Spanish Empire.

1811-14: Fur-trappers from the Russian-American Sailing Corp massacre the Nicoleno people on San Nicolas Island.

1835: Santa Barbara Mission successfully removes the remaining at-risk Nicolenos from the island.

1846-8: Mexican-American War.

1853: Events of the play.

ACT I

SCENE 1: Santa Barbara Mission Grounds

[Crowds are leaving the chapel after a Sunday Mass. Friar Rubio, leader of the Mass, stands outside saying farewell to the congregation, made up of a mixture of Chumash Native Americans, Latinos and White Americans. Malquiares and Carl Dittman approach the friar.]

RUBIO: Good to see you both at Mass today! I hope you are keeping well. How is business these days?

MALQUIARES: Things could be better, Padre. Many trips out to the Channel Islands and not a single seal. It’s as if we’ve sold every fur in the West.

RUBIO: Oh dear, well I hope our Lord finds you some luck soon!

MALQUIARES: Gracias, Padre. See you next week!

RUBIO: Si, adios Malquiares, have a good week.

DITTMAN: Thank you for the Mass, Father. I was wondering, could I have a word with you?

RUBIO: Of course my son, let me just say goodbye to everyone and I shall meet you in the garden.

DITTMAN: Great, thank you. [Friar Rubio continues to shake hands with parishioners before the crowds thin out. He walks over to Dittman, who is sitting on a bench.]

RUBIO: So my son, what did you want to talk about? Ah, you’re life goes so fast.

DITTMAN: I know. Moving here, converting to Catholicism, getting married. Father, you know how glad I am for the love of God and this Mission here.

RUBIO: You have made a rightful home for yourself in this congregation, Carl. We are all happy to have you.

DITTMAN: What concerns me is, well, the Captain. He calls himself a Catholic and yet he never comes to church. He lives on the Mission’s land, he rears cattle on it, he surely has no good excuse?

RUBIO: Your Captain is a troubled man I know that.

DITTMAN: Father, I try not to be blunt, but… oh why bother?! Is he damned?

RUBIO: [Gently laughing] Well that’s hardly for me to say Carl. As our Lord says, these places belong to those for whom they have been prepared. I shall pray for your Captain’s soul, as always.

DITTMAN: I pray for him all the time. There is a lot I have yet to learn about the faith, but the fate of the Captain upsets me. He is a good man. I know this. He has taught me so much in the ways of the sea, he has so many stories to tell, so much wisdom to teach… But his favour in the Lord’s eyes…

RUBIO: Let me tell you a story, Carl. A few years ago, perhaps over a decade now, the Brothers informed me of a great tragedy that had occurred over in the Channel Islands you know so well. I wonder if you have heard of it. A cyclone had hit the oceans over the Pacific, and a Russian team of fur-traders from Alaska had been making their way to California, when they were forced to stop off at one of the islands – San Nicolas Island, if I remember correctly – anyway, when they reached the shore, they were greeted by a small band of natives, a people undisturbed by the force of industry and imperio that has been creeping over the continent. I do not know if they had ever been contacted before. Well, these fur traders made great use of the natives’ hospitality. They were sheltered and warmed and fed, and given a place to sleep for the night, showing all the charity of the faithful. The next morning, however, it transpired that one of the Russians had fallen gravely ill, troubled by fever. The visitors immediately accused their hosts of poisoning the man, though of course they had all eaten of the same meal, and only the one had fallen sick. They demanded things from the natives: women and food. They conspired among themselves to enslave the men and bring them back to Alaska. Tensions grew to a point of violence. The Alaskans took great pleasure in the burning of the natives’ homes, the raping of their women, the murder of their men. In the wake of the carnage, the skies cleared, and the seas calmed. The Lord gave them free passage to arrive here in California. As far as I know, they made a great bounty on the furs in their ships, and returned to Alaska unharmed.

DITTMAN: The Lord works in mysterious ways.

RUBIO: [Pausing for reflection] When the Brothers told me of this awful crime I made it my business to send a rescue team over to the island, to bring them here and provide medicine and food for the survivors. We paid a team of sailors who managed to find all but one of the Nicolenos. Whilst searching for the last little girl, who had apparently wandered off, the sky grew dark and the sea tumultuous. They had to leave her behind. The Nicolenos, they were inconsolable. But what could they do? There was only one man among them, an elderly chief called Black Hawk. The rest were women on the brink of starvation, one of whom, the poor wretch, the mother of the child. We have sent sailors over to try and find the girl since. None have succeeded. We must assume she is dead. No one could survive this long alone. But I often wonder to myself, what her relationship with the Lord was, or what it is, if she is alive. Here, at this mission, men come for the express purpose of isolation and silence. They shed the skin of civilisation, they struggle day and night to find a connection with Him that is free from the burdens of society. The girl of San Nicolas Island. What is her connection with God? I do not know. What can I say of your Captain? He is a man burdened greatly by the world around him. Yet, he finds solace in an isolation of his own. He does not come to Mass, something I hope you will encourage him to do. But what is his connection with God? Equally, I do not know. But the Lord does. We must pray for their souls, both.

DITTMAN: It confuses me, Father. How can one see the light of Christ and the Catholic Church and fail to rejoice in its celebrations? The Church, it is like the dry land, the shore, it’s a place of refuge and recovery. When a sailor sets out to sea it is what he constantly seeks, and where he always arrives. So many stories I have heard of sailors lost at sea kissing the ground when they arrive, filled with jubilation for the Lord and celebration. But the Captain… it is as if he wants to stay at sea forever, adrift, refusing the nourishment of the Eucharist, of the Truth, of the Good. He dwells in complete confusion and ignorance. How can a sailor do such a thing when he can see the dry land on the horizon? Surely this Lone Woman would break out in song and dance at the very moment she was freed from that island and returned to civilisation? That, I think, is the difference. The poor Nicoleno is isolated and adrift at the hand of evil men, the hand of Satan. The Captain has thrown himself into isolation at his own choosing.

RUBIO: It ought not be confusing, child. This proves to me that you are in need of much closer study of the Scriptures.

DITTMAN: But didn’t you say the Lord ab-ro-gated the Law? My father used to tell me the Old Testament was the authority for all faith and practice – but this isn’t what the Church says, is it?

RUBIO: Well, the Church might not follow the Old Testament law to the letter, indeed, as the Doctors teach us, this has been abrogated. But as St. Paul tells us, there is still much truth to be found among its pages, even if the sins detailed within it have been redeemed through Christ Jesus. Let us think of the Exile from Egypt. The Lord, in his mercy, grants Moses the power to split the Red Sea in half so that the Israelites can cross, their feet on dry land, climbing their way over the sea floor to the wilderness beyond. They are free from their prison in the great cities of Egypt, and Pharaoh and his men are washed away by the return of the crashing waves. One would expect the Israelites to kiss the ground they stand on, and to hold in their hearts an everlasting humility and gratitude towards the Lord their God. But no. Shortly after, as they traverse the wilderness in search of the Promised Land, they complain of their hunger and lambast their God, saying their lives were better when they were slaves in Egypt, and not freemen in the wilderness. You see, the freedom offered by the Lord is a difficult thing, and less pleasurable, than the freedom offered by a King. We can see this from the blood that has been spilled on this very plot. Countless wars, most recently between my people and yours, fought in spite of the Mission here, men sacrificing their lives for Presidents and Emperors, without regard for the Kingdom of God. Men have always fled from the Church, and from God, even when God is right next to them, leading them. How fickle the hearts of Men are.

DITTMAN: Like Adam in the garden.

RUBIO: Yes, from the beginning of our species we have been unruly and ungrateful. Some might say blight on this very earth. But a return to intimacy with God is promised by Our Saviour, Jesus Christ, wholly God, and wholly Man. Come, pray with me in the chapel, child. Let the Lord calm the storm in your heart. Your Captain will be all the better for it.

DITTMAN: Yes, Father. Thank you. I promise never to cast an ungrateful glance to Our Lord.

RUBIO: Do not make promises that you cannot keep.

[Exuent]

SCENE 2: Santa Barbara Tavern

[A sailors’ tavern decorated in pictures of boats, fishing crews, old ship masts and nets. Captain Nidever, Malquiares, Thomas Jeffries, and Carl Dittman sit at a table drinking ale.]

NIDEVER: Here! [Raising his glass] Here’s to that darling monk, God bless his heart, for praying for the repose of my hell-bound soul, eh? Three cheers for ol’ Rubio! [Malquiares and Jeffries drunkenly cheer; Dittman keeps his glass to himself. Nidever, noticing:] Cheer up, boy! You’re coming with me! I wouldn’t leave you alone up there behind those pearly gates!

DITTMAN: I wish you wouldn’t speak like that, Captain.

MALQUIARES: El Capitano is only joking.

NIDEVER: Yeah, yeah, sure. Come on, cheer up, let’s lighten the mood [patting Dittman on the back].

JEFFRIES: How about you tell us a story George, eh? You’ve always got some adventure up your sleeve you haven’t told us about.

NIDEVER: You all just choose to live boring damned lives that’s why! [Group laugh] All right, all right. Did I ever tell you about the Battle of Pierre’s Hole?

JEFFRIES: You old bastard you tell us that one every time! Give us something else.

NIDEVER: [Hiccuping] Fine, fine, fine. Hmm… What about the time we stumbled into Taos?

DITTMAN: Taos?

MALQUIARES: [Sarcastically] Of course you’ve been to Taos, Capitan.

NIDEVER: That’s right I have! This was just before the Battle of Pierre’s Hole, that great moment of heroism in which we laid waste to–

JEFFRIES: Enough about Pierre’s Hole – keep your lusts for the French to yourself. [Group laugh]

NIDEVER: [Laughing] Fine! I’ll tell you about Taos. This was when I was still running with Isaac Graham and Job Dye, us wandering group of trappers. We moved from town to town throughout America trapping and trading furs, letting Providence guide us through the thick and thin. We were travelling through what was at that point northern Mexico, getting ourselves lost in the mountains out there. Isaac was convinced we’d come to a decline if we kept pushing over the ranges, and so we did, crossing over cliffs and forests, getting more and more lost, less and less able to turn back around. I tell you we nearly killed Isaac over it. We were in hardly any state to keep going, when we noticed chimney smoke in a valley – and there it was, the famous town of Taos.

JEFFRIES: [To Dittman] You know anything about Taos kid?

DITTMAN: No.

JEFFRIES: Natives there murdered hundreds of Spaniards when they tried to build a chapel. Spaniards fought back, built another one, and the damned natives just burnt it right back down again! Managed to kick the conquistadors out of the mountains completely! Not sure what you Yanks have done with them now, but they’re a fierce bunch.

MALQUIARES: You’ve been?

JEFFRIES: No, never myself. I’ve heard stories, though.

NIDEVER: Anyway, Job was convinced they’d scalp us once he realised where we were. We’d all heard the stories. Mexicans were terrified of the place. Naturally I was the only one brave enough to walk down there and try and negotiate safe passage. You’d never guess what I saw.

DITTMAN: What?

NIDEVER: Mexicans and pueblos shaking hands, armed to the teeth, both. Of course we later found out what it was all about: the pueblos and the Mexicans had joined forces, terrified of a war with the Americans, and of course they were right to be – ten years later the whole place was ransacked. Catholics and Natives, teaming up against the Yanks; in Taos of all places! They weren’t too happy to see our pale faces, but they didn’t scalp anything, or us not with the Mexicans there at least. We drank and slept for a bit, got some directions, were sternly warned to leave Mexico, and then were sent on our way.

MALQUIARES: Buenos Samaritanos.

DITTMAN: So what were the natives like?

NIDEVER: Fine, really. As I say, not overly welcoming but happy to accommodate us. I got the impression that they kept a lot of secrets, that there was something they weren’t showing, even to the Mexicans.

DITTMAN: Did you try to covert them?

NIDEVER: [Laughing] Are you mad? Of course not! We all made very sure not to mention a single thing about religion. The Mexicans too. There were a couple of Catholic pueblos but the Natives didn’t show us any of their religion.

DITTMAN: Disappointing.

JEFFRIES: You’ve never been lost and terrified in the wilderness, Carl; you wouldn’t have said a thing either!

DITTMAN: The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer. The Lord would protect me or make me a noble martyr.

JEFFRIES: Oh shove off you would be pissing yourself. It’s all well and good to give yourself up for martyrdom sitting in your this tavern, surrounded by Catholics, but you wouldn’t last a second in enemy territory.

DITTMAN: I’m just saying it was a dull story, that’s all.

NIDEVER: I’d like to hear you tell a better one, boy!

DITTMAN: All right, I’ve got one. So, there’s this island out on the channel, right, and a few decades ago these Russian fur traders went over and massacred all the pueblos there. So Friar Rubio and the Mission decided to bring the survivors in to California and help them recuperate – but they left a little girl there, and she’s still out there to this day. Eighteen years on her lonesome, stranded on this tiny island, living off of bugs and what have you.

JEFFRIES: She’s dead.

DITTMAN: How do you know?

JEFFRIES: Because I was one of the people Rubio sent over to try and find the poor thing. Unlike you I’ve actually got a story to tell. We set out on the perfect day, still winds, gentle waves. I mean, we’d all seen the island before, I bet even you lot have come across it; it’s small and inhospitable. We sailed round it a couple times, tried to land but there just isn’t anywhere safe enough to climb up from, so we left. We didn’t see a thing. She’s dead for sure.

NIDEVER: Well, if you’re the only one who’s checked, I reckon she probably is still out there.

JEFFRIES: Bull! You think a girl could survive eighteen years alone out in the channel? Living in a cave? Eating bugs? I’m telling you if she’s out there I would have found her – I’ve travelled all across America from England, I’ve got plenty of stories like yours, George, and I know how to chart a bloody island.

NIDEVER: I’ve heard sailors at the port talking about smokestacks coming off that island at night – San Nicolas right?

MALQUIARES: San Nicolas? That island is haunted people say. Every crew I’ve been with has made sure to avoid it. That smoke is a ghostly vapour…

NIDEVER: I bet you I’d find that girl in minutes if I tried.

JEFFRIES: You’re on. $20 says she ain’t there.

NIDEVER: What you say, boys? You want a story of your own? Let’s go find this lost girl and shove it in Jeffries’ face here.

DITTMAN: Really Captain?

NIDEVER: I’ll probably regret it in the morning but all this reminiscing’s got me in the mood for something wild.

DITTMAN: Praise the Lord if we find her, Friar Rubio will be so pleased. To save a soul, it would be an honour captain: a blessing on all our houses.

MALQUIARES: Tontos imprudentes.

NIDEVER: Oh come on Malquiares, there’s no ghosts, no curse. There’s adventure!

DITTMAN: This is a mission from God, Malquiares. We must be the Buenos Samaritanos.

MALQUIARES: Fine, fine, I’ll go. But only bad things can come from this, I’m sure.

NIDEVER: $20 Thomas?

JEFFRIES: $20. But you’re not gonna find her.

NIDEVER: We’ll see about that!

SCENE 3: Santa Barbara Town Centre

[Dark seaside street, windows are closed, lights are off. Nidever, Malquiares, Jeffries and Dittman are heard loudly singing as they stumble through the street.]

ALL: [To the tune of Camptown Races] …The girl, her hair turned white as snow (Doo-dah, doo-dah)

Her lips, they quivered, just like so (Brr-brr boo-baa bay)

Her terror, it did hurt me though, (Doo-dah, doo-dah)

It was my face that made her go! (Brr-brr boo-baa bay)

DITTMAN: All right boys this is me. Now if I could just find my keys…

JEFFRIES: [Laughing] You fool, you left them at the bar!

DITTMAN: Oh you’re joking aren’t you?

MALQUIARES: No Carl I think I remember you left them at the table when we left.

ALL: [Laugh]

DITTMAN: Well darn.

JEFFRIES: How are you planning on getting inside, then?

DITTMAN: I’ll have to wake up the wife, won’t I? Evelyn! Evelyn!

[The others snicker as Dittman continues to scream out his wife’s name.]

JEFFRIES: I haven’t got a clue how you got married, kid.

DITTMAN: Shove off. Evelyn!

[Evelyn opens the door in her nightgown]

EVELYN: All right, all right, I heard you! For God’s sake Carl how many times are you going to do this? Lost your keys again, huh? Useless man. Get inside, now! [The others coo] Don’t you lot get started, bunch of alcoholics.

JEFFRIES: That’s your wife, Dittman? Sounds more like your mother! [All laugh]

DITTMAN: [Awkwardly] Hey!

EVELYN: Useless man! Get in now Carl before I lock this door for good!

NIDEVER: Get some rest, boy. I’m going to show you what a real adventure is made of, what life is all about. [Dittman shuffles into the house as the others laugh to themselves. Evelyn slams the door behind her.]

JEFFRIES: What do you make of that kid, eh George? Think he’s got it in him?

NIDEVER: He will when I’m done with him. A sense of direction is all that that boy needs. Time to pass on the great wisdom I’ve got for myself over the years, don’t you think? Damn, I’ve got to piss. [Pees up against a wall]

JEFFRIES: Hey, wise man! You’re getting piss all over your shoes! [Laugh]

NIDEVER: Bugger off Jeffries!

MALQUIARES: He is a married man, Captain. He’s taken on a great adventure for himself already, coming here. You think he needs to live like you have?

JEFFRIES: He’s married, I’ll give him that much. But adventure, stories, life – we can show him a real living, right George?

NIDEVER: We? Not sure what you’d have to show the boy!

JEFFRIES: Hey, George–

MALQUIARES: You two are too cynical. He’s a good marinero, he pulls his weight, and he’s no cobardo. A man can live a life on solid ground and still know more about life than you vagabundos.

NIDEVER: Ha! I wouldn’t call him honest.

MALQUAIRES: [Annoyed] Ah, say you. Say, when is the last time you came to Mass, Capitan?

NIDEVER: [Laughing, drunkenly] When is the last time you went to Mass hungover?

MALQUAIRES: Que?

NIDEVER: Honesty, Malquiares, I am talking about honesty. There is a big difference between zealousy and honesty.

JEFFRIES: [Smirking] Zealousy?

NIDEVER: Zealousy!

MALQUIARES: You have no right to judge Carl, Capitan. He’s young but he has a heart. You two are adventurers, hey? But you do not have the bravery to kneel before God and live simple lives.

JEFFRIES: Gosh, you Catholics are all so serious! You’re lucky I’m not as mad a Prot as my father, else I’d be chasing you around with my prayer book trying to purge you both of the Antichrist! Cheer up boys! What’s in a story, eh?

MALQUIARES: This is serious. It is serious to go to Mass, to pray, to confess; it is serious and honest the life that Carl lives. Men do not dedicate their lives to unserious things, they dedicate to serious or to nothing.

NIDEVER: I can’t part the seas, Malquiares; I have to sail across them! I was never meant to be a seaman, but here I am! I have to have faith that my prayers will keep me alive on a stormy night, because I have nothing else to believe in. Did I tell you I was at my most religious in Taos, a place where the Lord’s name could not be spoken, and no Mass could be held? Taos was a riptide. On the land, at the Mission, in the chapel, all is solid, and all is finished. Cowards pray on the dry land.

MALQUIARES: The ungrateful don’t.

NIDEVER: I have trapped and killed countless animals, of all sorts. There’s nothing Christlike about hunting the same seals over and over again until extinction.

MALQUIARES: You speak empty words, Capitan you are drunk.

NIDEVER: I speak– [heaves].

JEFFRIES: [Laughing] I’m bored. And pissed. I’ll see you boys at the tavern tomorrow, yes?

NIDEVER: No, tomorrow we find the Lone Woman. Tomorrow I go further, show you all the mark of a true man.

JEFFRIES: Ah yes of course! Well I will make sure to see you off! Make a man of that Dittman boy; show him what it’s like to be truly disappointed! [Exit, laughing]

MALQUIARES: Childish man. Capitan, are you okay to get home?

NIDEVER: I’ll be fine Malquiares. I will see you tomorrow, yes?

MALQUIARES: Si, God willing.

NIDEVER: God willing.

MALQUIARES: Adios. [Exit]

NIDEVER: Everything is spinning. [Hums the tune to Camptown Races as he stumbles off]

SCENE 4: Santa Barbara Port

[Malquiares and Dittman are preparing the ship as Jeffries watches, bottle in hand, from the port, shouting instructions and laughing. Enter Nidever]

JEFFRIES: Ah, George, you finally made it! Bright and early!

NIDEVER: [Hung-over] Look, Jeffries, about this bet–

JEFFRIES: Oh no, no, no, we made a deal. You give up now you owe me.

DITTMAN: Captain, the ship’s nearly ready. You won’t need to do a thing, just let us take care of it until we get close to San Nicolas.

NIDEVER: [Heaves] Damn, all right. Just, yeah, wake me when we’re close.

[Nidever climbs on board, and tries to open the door to the cabin]

JEFFRIES: [To the tune of Barnacle Bill] Who’s that knocking at my door?

Who’s that knocking at my door?

Who’s that knocking at my door?

Said the fair young maiden.

NIDEVER: Shut it, will you?

JEFFRIES: Looks like it’s shut pretty tight already!

[Nidever keeps tugging at the door when the handle pops off, sending Nidever flying and the door opening. All laugh]

JEFFRIES: You may sleep upon the floor,

You may sleep upon the floor-

NIDEVER: To hell with all of you! [Exits into the cabin]

MALQUIARES: Carl, ready to depart?

DITTMAN: Ready.

JEFFRIES: Well good luck boys. It’s going to be an expensive journey, but hey, I’ll make sure you get a couple drinks out of it. Tell your Captain I love him [laughing, exit.]

[Malquiares pulls up the sail and guides the ship out of port, as Dittman helps. Malquiares whistles the tune of Barnacle Bill to himself. Dittman begins to sing along.]

DITTMAN: Who’s that knocking at my door?

Who’s that knocking at my door?

Who’s that knocking at my door?

Said the fair young maiden.

MALQUIARES: Open the door and let me in!

Open the door and let me in!

Open the door and let me in!

Said Abraham Brown the sailor!

DITTMAN: You can sleep upon the shore,

You can sleep upon the shore,

You can sleep upon the shore,

Said the fair young maiden.

MALQUIARES: To hell with the shore, I can’t fuck that,

To hell with the shore, I can’t fuck that,

To hell with the shore, I can’t fuck that,

Said Abraham Brown the sailor..

[Both awkwardly laugh, as Dittman is evidently uncomfortable at continuing the song. Suddenly a silence overtakes the ship. All that is heard is the washing of the waves, as Dittman and Malquiares awkwardly pace around the deck, looking for a place to sit or something to say.]

DITTMAN: Shall I say a prayer?

MALQUIARES: Yes, good idea!

DITTMAN: [Leafing through his prayer book. To himself:] No… no… none of these are right…

MALQUIARES: Well?

DITTMAN: These prayers, they’re all about trading, merchant ships…

MALQUIARES: I’m sure the Lord won’t mind.

DITTMAN: If you say so… O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy; and gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south. They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; these see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep. For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind which riseth up the waves thereof. They mount up to heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble. They reel to and fro, and stagger like drunken men, and are at their wit’s end. Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still. Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven. Oh that man would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!

BOTH: Amen.

[The two remain silent, as the waves continue to calmly wash by. Dittman nervously flicks through his prayer book Malquiares hums to himself. Dittman gives up poring through his prayer book, puts it aside, and stares out on the waves. Malquiares goes to adjust the sails.]

(End of Act I)

ACT II

SCENE 1: Santa Barbara Port

[The port is busy with excited people. Jeffries is in the middle of a crowd, being jostled around. Dr. Librado and Talawiyashwit are at the front of the crowd, almost at the edge of the peer, gazing out over the sea. The boat arrives carrying Nidever, Malquiares, Dittman and Juana Maria. The port authorities force the crowd to move back as Nidever and Malquaires disembark, leaving Dittman and Juana Maria onboard.]

PORT AUTHORITY: Captain Nidever, is it?

NIDEVER: One and the same.

PORT AUTHORITY: Captain Nidever, you really should have alerted the authorities before you set off that a crowd of this number would be waiting on your return. It’s an insult to the port; we’ve got a good mind to fine you for this.

NIDEVER: Fine me? I don’t even know who any of these people are! [To the crowd] Who brought you here? What do you want?

DR. LIBRADO: Captain Nidever! Captain Nidever! [Squeezing past the port authority].

PORT AUTHORITY: Hey, get back behind the line!

DR. LIBRADO: Captain Nidever, if I may, there have been rumours spread all around town that your crew went out to San Nicolas Island to bring back the so-called ‘Lone Woman’, [as the port authority starts to wrestle him back] did you find her, Captain Nidever? Was she alive?

NIDEVER: Indeed we did. She’s on board right now. [At the news, Talawiyashwit pushes the port authority out of the way and keeps him back with the crowd, away from Dr. Librado.]

DR. LIBRADO: Oh that is excellent news, Captain!

NIDEVER: And you are?

DR. LIBRADO: I am Dr. Librado, I’m a philologist from New York State University. I have been studying the languages of the Chumash people here in Santa Barbara for just under a year now when I heard about your expedition. I must say, you move quickly. I’d hoped I’d find you at your house but you were on the expedition almost as soon as I heard about it! You see, this woman is perhaps the last surviving member of the Nicoleno tribe in the world. She could be an invaluable resource for understanding the world and its people.

MALQUIARES: Who is this, your bodyguard?

DR. LIBRADO: [Surprised] No, this is Talawiyashwit. I’ve brought him along from one of the Chumash tribes. The Chumash speak a dialect we think was similar in structure to- [Dr. Librado is shoved in the tussle between Talawiyashwit and the port authority] Look, please can we discuss this somewhere a little more, calm? [Suddenly, Dittman and Juana Maria disembark, Dittman leading Juana Maria by the hand. The crowd go quiet, amazed at the sight.]

NIDEVER: All right people, that’s it! We’ve got to get this young woman some space, please! She hasn’t seen anyone in years, who knows how she’s going to take all your ugly faces in! [Juana Maria suddenly leaps with joy, and begins singing the tok-tok song. She runs into the crowd and begins dancing with them, singing the song. Everyone is surprised by this reaction, and awkwardly join in with her excitement, in a pandering way.]

PORT AUTHORITY: Okay! This is great but can we please move it off the port!

DITTMAN: Captain we should take her to the Mission, we can look after her there.

NIDEVER: You hear that, Malquiares?

MALQUIARES: Si, Capitan!

[The crew all begin rounding up the people off stage to take them to the Mission, whilst the port authority ushers them away. The only person who stays behind is Jeffries, who is drunk. He sits with his bottle, having been unnoticed by the crew.]

JEFFRIES: That ain’t no Lone Woman. These pirates, they probably just took an Indian with them so they could show her off when they got back. No bloody chance.

PORT AUTHORITY: All right you too, we still ain’t got time for vagrants.

JEFFRIES: Oh, go shove it up your arse.

PORT AUTHORITY: Excuse me? [Jeffries gets up, embarrassingly fails to intimidate the port authority.] I’m gonna floor you if you’re not careful! [Ashamed, Jeffries stumbles off.] ‘Lone Woman’, tommyrot!

SCENE 2: Santa Barbara Mission Grounds

[Friar Rubio stands quietly outside the chapel doors in the garden, waiting for the arrival of his parishioners. A small number of the faithful trickle through, saying their hellos to Friar Rubio. Then the large crowd arrives, led by Juana Maria. All seem to be drawn by her dance and song. Nidever, Dittman, Malquaires, Dr. Librado and Talawiyashwit all struggle to get to the front.]

FRIAR RUBIO: Dios mio such a crowd! I don’t think we can fit you all in the chapel… [Friendlily, to Juana Maria] And who might you be? [Juana Maria continues singing the toki-toki song, dancing next to Friar Rubio, though Friar Rubio is too stunned to join in. Finally, Dittman is able to wrestle his way out of the crowd, followed by Malquiares, Nidever, Dr. Librado and Talawiyashwit, respectively.] Ah, Carl! Nice to see you! Have you brought all these people here this evening? I know the Lord tells us to spread the Gospel like a mustard seed, but I shall really struggle to get everyone into the chapel – perhaps an outdoor Mass is in order?

DITTMAN: I don’t think they’re going to stick around for Mass, Father. Everybody’s come out to see her!

FRIAR RUBIO: And who is she?

DITTMAN: Father, she’s the girl you told me about! The one you were trying to find, on San Nicolas Island! We found her, Father!

FRIAR RUBIO: [Stares, shocked, at the dancing girl, then does the sign of the cross.] But… she is in such good health… Listen my Son, get these people away from here, and take the girl into the dining room, get her some food at once! [Dittman takes Juana Maria into the Mission building. Nidever attempts to follow but Friar Rubio stops him.] Stop, Captain, she needs much space.

NIDEVER: What are you- I’m the one who discovered the damned girl. [Suddenly policemen, followed by the Sheriff and Port Authority disperse the crowd. Talawiyashwit nearly punches a policeman but Dr. Librado stops him.]

SHERIFF: Everybody needs to disperse immediately! There’s way too many of you here! You too Indian.

DR. LIBRADO: Hi, Sheriff, my name is Doctor Librado, this man is working for me.

SHERIFF: So what? You can get lost as well, Doctor Libre!

DR. LIBRADO: No, Sheriff, you don’t understand! I am here on very important business; it is essential that I get to speak to the Lone Woman!

SHERIFF: So this is what this is all about.

FRIAR RUBIO: Sheriff, I can assure you we are not causing any trouble, though I thank you for giving us some space to talk in peace.

SHERIFF: Crowds are never good news, Father. So, what’s all this about the Lone Woman then, huh? Is she here?

FRIAR RUBIO: Yes, we have taken her into the Mission to get her some food and drink, let her recover from the journey.

SHERIFF: Right, so the Mission is taking her in then?

FRIAR RUBIO: Captain Nidever here lives on the Mission land with us, his house is not too far. We can come to an arrangement.

SHERIFF: Right. I’ll be checking up on her, just promise me there won’t be any ruckus out here. Must be some circus freak you got hiding away in there.

FRIAR RUBIO: It won’t happen again, Sheriff.

SHERIFF: All right boys; let’s get out of here. [Exit]

NIDEVER: Now, Father, about my payment.

MALQUIARES: [To Nidever] Capitan!

FRIAR RUBIO: Payment?

NIDEVER: Thomas Jeffries told me you were willing to pay big for this girl, I think its only fair I get what’s coming to me.

FRIAR RUBIO: Fine. But you must give the girl her rest. God only knows what she has been through. She will need much time to recover.

DR. LIBRADO: How long, Father?

FRIAR RUBIO: A week, maybe longer. I have never dealt with a case like this before. With her relatives they were distraught, but collected; they left the Mission very quickly for another Mission further inland. But this girl is… dancing. I cannot tell her condition yet.

DR. LIBRADO: And it didn’t take long for her relatives to die, either.

FRIAR RUBIO: Who are you again?

DR. LIBRADO: My name is Doctor Librado, I am a philologist at New York State University. I’ve come here with my assistant, Talawiyashwit.

FRIAR RUBIO: Ah, a University man. Quite far from home, no?

DR. LIBRADO: Yes, I was here at Santa Barbara with Talawiyashwit studying the Chumash tribe he is from when I heard all about the Lone Woman. I thought it was just a myth, but apparently not. I would like to speak to her if possible, when she is ready, of course.

FRIAR RUBIO: I shall have to let you know. As I say, the Order might not want to keep her here for too long. Our freedom here is… limited. We have better resources further inland.

TALAWIYASHWIT: That’s if you keep her.

DR. LIBRADO: All the while, I would be very grateful if you would let me know when she is ready to talk. Here are my details, my address and so forth. A pleasure to meet you, Father.

FRIAR RUBIO: And you, God bless you, Son.

DR. LIBRADO: Gracias. [Dr. Librado and Talawiyashwit leave]

NIDEVER: I’m still waiting, Father.

FRIAR RUBIO: Captain, I’m sorry, but I do not have time to pay you now, I must get on with my Mass, people are waiting. If you will join us, I can get you your money afterwards.

NIDEVER: [Pauses, sternly] No, I won’t take up any more of your time. I’ll come over tomorrow to see you, and the girl.

FRIAR RUBIO: As you wish. [Nidever leaves]

MALQUIARES: My apologies for his behaviour, Padre.

FRIAR RUBIO: No apologies needed, Malquiares. Es el capitán de su propio barco.

[Both enter the chapel]

SCENE 3: Santa Barbara Mission Cloyster

[Juana Maria is sat at a table, humming toki-toki to herself whilst Dittman speaks to a Brother chef.]

CHEF: Tengo un poco de chile con carne sobrante, espero que no sea demasiado picante para ella.

DITTMAN: Chili, right? Sorry, no hablo Español.

CHEF: Chile, si.

DITTMAN: Gracias.

CHEF: De nada. [To Juana Maria] Cómete, Mujer Solitaria. [Exit]

DITTMAN: [Brings the food to Juana Maria, and sits with her. On sight of the food Juana Maria is overjoyed and eats ravenously. Dittman sits and watches for a while, at first disgusted, but gradually finding beauty in the Lone Woman’s eating.] Hungry are ya? I’m not surprised. I can only imagine what it’s been like for you. Completely alone, at the edge of the world, growing up without family or work or state. You’ve never been to the Lord’s Supper, although He most certainly has been watching over you. Definitely watching over you. Otherwise, how would we have found you? We saved you. It’s truly a miracle. The world is a dangerous place, you’ll come to learn, but the Lord will guide you through it. It’s confusing. I can’t say I know much about it myself. I suppose you and me are in the same boat, in that regard. Fresh to the game of sin and lies. Well, fresh might be an overstatement. Life wasn’t easy for me back home, had to learn a few things even then. I’m much happier here, without my father constantly hovering over me, telling me I’m worthless, that I’ve amounted to nothing. Just because my brothers studied and became engineers like him, doesn’t make me worthless. The man calls himself a Christian; you’d think he’d know that. That’s what life outside the True Church will do to you. To hell with them. This is good enough for me. I like this town, I like my people. I’m married, I have a job, I go to church. I’m a real man. I don’t need to move to New York to have a life. You’ll see, the world ain’t all that bad. [Juana Maria continues eating]. What I don’t get is why everyone is so… frustrated here. I love this town; but everyone I meet has got their faces all screwed up. Jeffries, the Captain, gosh, even Father Rubio. I just don’t get it. The Lord has given us the law, the key to salvation: you say your prayers, you do your time, and you will be cleansed and ready for the Kingdom. We have a real easy go of it out here! This Mission is a beacon of light and yet people seem unaffected by it, unbothered by the Good News. Don’t they realise how much easier things would be if they could just see the light? If they could just forget all the useless, meaningless garbage they carry around with them all day. Sometimes I feel like the only God-fearing man in this town. Never used to be that way, I wasn’t all that religious until I came here. I was lost for a long time. A long, long time. Then I saw the light. [Staring blankly at Juana Maria, suddenly Dittman becomes quite animated] What was that? Did you just say something? It’s beautiful… Say it again… [Juana Maria remains silent. Dittman looks shocked.] A-are you an angel? [Juana Maria, unsure what has caused Dittman’s excitement, and exhausted from eating and her journey, shows a mild enthusiasm, and then sets her head down to rest. Dittman gasps, and starts to weep and convulse in a state of religious ecstasy.]

SCENE 4: Santa Barbara Tavern

[Jeffries sits drunk at a table. Nidever walks strolls in with a beer, and sits beside him, gloating, slightly drunk himself.]

NIDEVER: Jeffries! You got my $20, boy?

JEFFRIES: George! Yeah, I’ve got your money waiting for you right here. I just need you to answer me one thing.

NIDEVER: What’s that?

JEFFRIES: How did you do it, you old pirate? You’ve got the whole town fooled thinking you found that damned Lost Woman – but I went to that island, Nidever, I know she wasn’t there! So tell me: how did you pull it off?

NIDEVER: Now listen here, Jeffries, you self-righteous scum, I found that girl fair and square. Just because you are your motley crew couldn’t manage it doesn’t make me a fraud, now you’ll shut you’re mouth before people start getting the wrong idea.

JEFFRIES: The wrong idea! Oh my! Touchy are we? It’s not like you to be this uptight. The great George Nidever and his public image mustn’t be threatened! Makes you think doesn’t it, if you could pull this off, what other lies are you hiding in your past, eh, George? Pierre’s Hole? Taos?

NIDEVER: You’re a fool, Jeffries. What use would I have in lying? If you’re that hard done by just say you can’t pay.

JEFFRIES: Here’s your money you miser. [Angrily hands over a bundle of notes.] You deserve it for all the hard work you’ve put in.

NIDEVER: I’m tired, okay, can we just leave this for now?

JEFFRIES: Too tired to tell the truth?

NIDEVER: Too tired to listen to your piffle, Jeffries!

JEFFRIES: Come on Captain Cook, you can’t really be this miserable? Go on, tell me. You snuck her on board beforehand, didn’t you? You know the scientists will suss you out, right?

NIDEVER: [Angering] Call me a liar again Jeffries.

JEFFRIES: What do you plan on doing with your prize, eh? Granted it don’t all come crumbling down before you get to skip town.

NIDEVER: I ain’t got nothing to hide and I sure ain’t got nothing to prove. What would you know anyway? You couldn’t tell your ass from a hole in the ground! Who have you been spreading this twaddle to?

JEFFRIES: Hell if I know, I’m steaming! I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole tavern knew by now! But hey, if you don’t wanna take me to her, George, I’m sure I can find some other way to get at her. Expose her to the light of the truth! Say, where’s Carl anyway?

NIDEVER: With Rubio and the girl. Whole thing’s got me mad as a March hare. That bloody monk, taking my earnings, filling that boy’s head with garbage. I’ve got enough to worry about without you making me out as some kind of conman. Get your own stories for once why don’t you? I’ve got stuff to sort out! [Gets up]

JEFFRIES: Hey! Don’t leave you old pirate! Where are you going?

NIDEVER: I’m off to look after what’s mine. [Exit]

JEFFRIES: [Sits willing his empty pint glass, staring at the vortex.]

SAILOR: [Enters with a full pint, walks past Jeffries at first, then notices him and stops.] Hey, you were at the port earlier weren’t you? That girl’s got the whole town talking. You know the guys who found her right?

JEFFRIES: Yes, indeed I do. Sit down my friend, sit down, I’ll tell you all about it.

(End of Act II)

ACT III

SCENE 1: Santa Barbara Mission Garden

[Mission courtyard on a sunny day. The birds are chirping and the air is calm. Juana Maria and Dittman sit in the courtyard, Dittman enraptured by her, while she playfully enjoys the garden.]

DITTMAN: An angel sent from heaven, a woman preserved by God, a nature undefiled, an island undisclosed. The missionaries have travelled as far west as the land would take them and further, until at last, the Church has discovered the Lone Woman, the last convert, the final mother – Juana Maria. [Enter Rubio]

RUBIO: Carl, how are you my son? I trust the girl is well?

DITTMAN: Do I even need to speak? Look at her Father. She is radiant in health and happiness. She is truly a light of her own. [Dittman and Rubio watch Juana Maria as she continues to frolic in the garden] She has a name, Father.

RUBIO: Si?

DITTMAN: ‘Juana Maria’.

RUBIO: Ah, a beautiful name. Yes, I think that works well, Carl.

DITTMAN: Father, she told me it. Yesterday, she told me her name.

RUBIO: She speaks English?

DITTMAN: No-

RUBIO: Ah, Spanish!

DITTMAN: No, no-

RUBIO: Perhaps she just remembered the name?

DITTMAN: No, Father! She told me through the Spirit, in tongues. Although, she didn’t open her mouth. I looked into her eyes, and she told me.

RUBIO: I see… What else did she tell you, Carl?

DITTMAN: She has been sent by the Lord, Father. She is here to spread the gospel to the people of Santa Barbara, and beyond. Did you not see the masses that came to see her yesterday? She’s the talk of the town. Father, she has come in the purity of the Virgin to herald the second coming of Christ. This is what she told me.

RUBIO: [Silent for a bit] Are you sure about this, Carl?

DITTMAN: She said you might not believe me. She hoped you would.

RUBIO: [To Juana Maria] Juana Maria? Is this true? [Juana Maria looks back at Rubio, confused]

DITTMAN: The one having an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

RUBIO: This is a very serious claim, Carl. I hope you understand what you are saying. I will not be angry if you confess some confusion in this matter.

DITTMAN: I am confused why you don’t believe me. You told me that [Nidever, drunk, followed by Monk burst in]

FIRST MONK: Padre, traté de decirle...

DITTMAN: Captain?

NIDEVER: There you are! You owe me, Father! Big time!

RUBIO: Captain Nidever this is all very sudden.

NIDEVER: Pay up, and hand over the girl. You have no right keeping what’s mine from me. This ain’t the Spanish Empire no more, you’ve got to obey the law of the land. This is America!

RUBIO: What could you possibly want with her, Captain? You don’t have the facilities to look after her; you wouldn’t know the first thing to do, caring for a child! We have resources, people that can care for her. What is this all about, really? Because this is absurd!

NIDEVER: This is about right and wrong, Father. It’s my right to get payment for my work, and it is her right not to be held hostage by you! The bounty was for her return, not for her capture.

RUBIO: [To First Monk] Hermano, dale al Capitán su dinero. [First Monk leaves] He has gone to get your money now. But I’m afraid I cannot give you the girl. It would not be right.

NIDEVER: My rights are my rights, don’t matter what you think about them. Hand her over! [Moves to try and grab Juana Maria, who is visibly alarmed]

DITTMAN: Stop, Captain! You can’t!

NIDEVER: Don’t you start, boy; you’ve got as much a stake in this as I do! Stop defending this weasel for once and back me up! You and me, we’re a team! Don’t let him get into your head!

DITTMAN: This is about more than the Church, Captain. I can’t let you take her. She belongs with me.

NIDEVER: With you! I think you’ve forgotten who you work for, Carl.

DITTMAN: I know perfectly well whom I work for, I think it’s you who has forgotten. [Nidever charges at Dittman, and the two start to fight. First Monk returns, and First Monk and Rubio pull the two away from each other]

RUBIO: [Angered] Gentlemen, please! This is a holy place! [To First Monk] Dáselo! [Monk hands a small bag to Nidever.] This is your money, with extra for your trouble. I am not going to let you have the girl, Captain. You are in no state to look after her. She is safe here. This is her salvation we’re talking about.

NIDEVER: Safety or salvation Father, make up your mind! I know what you did to those Nicolenos, her family… You disgust me….

DITTMAN: Her name is Juana Maria! She is on a mission from God, a very important mission, Captain! If you get in the way of this you are doing the devil’s work!

NIDEVER: Listen here, Carl, Rubio’s got you on a leash, you’ve got to break free! You’re doing everything he wants without realizing why! This man and his quiet charity are all frauds, you understand?

RUBIO: Leave now, Captain! That is it! You have your money, now go!

NIDEVER: I’m not leaving without the girl!

RUBIO: Juana Maria is staying with us, Captain. I’ll leave you here to think about what you have done today. Come, Carl. [To Monk] Vigilarlo. [Rubio, Carl and Juana Maria leave, with First Monk watching over Nidever.]

NIDEVER: Carl, wait! [In the awkward silence, Dr. Librado walks in, escorted by Second Monk]

DR. LIBRADO: Excuse me, are you Captain George Nidever? [First Monk and Second Monk begin talking, carefully watching the other two]

NIDEVER: Who’s asking?

DR. LIBRADO: I’m not sure if you remember me, my name is Dr. Librado we met yesterday.

NIDEVER: Oh yeah, I remember you. What are you doing here? Come to get a peek at the Lone Woman? You’re too late, show’s over. [Dr. Librado carefully pulls Nidever to one side, so the monks cannot hear]

DR. LIBRADO: It appears we might have a common interest, Captain. I hope you don’t mind, but I couldn’t help but overhear the… fracas… between yourself and Friar Rubio just now.

NIDEVER: What about it?

DR. LIBRADO: Well, you see, the Father won’t let me see Juana Maria either, as you might tell from the escort. [Nodding at the monks]. It’s imperative I see her, Captain. She is the last of her kind; if I don’t get the chance to speak to her we will know nothing of her people. I also, like you, am sceptical of how well she is being treated here. We both know what happened to her relatives…

NIDEVER: So what are we going to do about it?

DR. LIBRADO: Well, I think we can work together, and both come out of this the better.

NIDEVER: I’m listening.

SCENE 2: Santa Barbara Town Centre

[Jeffries, drunk, stands on a soapbox trying to corral a group of sailors and drunks from the tavern who are half-listening].

JEFFRIES: Gather round, gather round everyone! I’ve promised you the job of a lifetime and I have not deceived you, gather round!

FIRST DRUNK: Hurry up, will you?

SECOND DRUNK: Yeah! Get on with it!

JEFFRIES: Okay, let me begin! Many of you will be aware of the ‘great discovery’ that was made yesterday, the Lone Woman from San Nicolas Island recovered by Nidever’s crew! Have you heard about it?

THIRD DRUNK: Heard about how he beat you to it when you had a years’ headstart! [All laugh]

JEFFRIES: It was ten months, actually, but that’s beside the point! I’m here to tell you today that that ‘Lone Woman’ is a fraud! A fake! A phoney!

SECOND DRUNK: Like you?

JEFFRIES: It’s true! Captain Nidever and his band of pirates snuck an Indian on board before they set sail, and then unveiled the girl as the ‘Lone Woman’ to all your awestruck faces!

THIRD DRUNK: She had a pretty fine face!

FIRST DRUNK: You filth!

THIRD DRUNK: It’s true – can’t say what I woulda done if I’d found her all alone out there! [All laugh]

JEFFRIES: I’ve gathered you all here today to offer you a job! You help me find the Lone Woman, bring her to that Dr. Librado feller, and get him to prove that she’s a fake!

SECOND DRUNK: How much do we get paid?

THIRD DRUNK: How about a night with the girl?

FIRST DRUNK: How about you pay off my bar tab?

BARMAN: How about you pay off your bar tab? [Laugh]

JEFFRIES: I promise there will be plenty of money to go around. The police offer a £100 reward for exposing pirates, plus the story we can sell to papers up and down the country – maybe even abroad!

SECOND DRUNK: A story? That’s it?

FIRST DRUNK: To hell with a story, I can’t drink that!

SECOND DRUNK: To hell with a story, I can’t spend that!

THIRD DRUNK: To hell with a story, I can’t fuck that!

ALL: Said Abraham Brown the Sailor! [Laugh]

JEFFRIES: But boys, you can drink, spend, and fuck as much as you like if you’ve got a good enough story! How do you all pick up girls on a night out?

FIRST DRUNK: With my arms! [Laugh]

JEFFRIES: With a story! You woo them with jokes and tales! This could be the fraud of the century, boys, you don’t want to miss out on this! [As Jeffries speaks and the men start to become more amenable to the idea, Dittman emerges on the other side of the street wearing priests’ clothes and an eccentric hat, standing on his own soap box and reading from the Bible.]

DITTMAN: And then, a great sign appeared in heaven! [Men start to quiet down]

JEFFRIES: Carl?

DITTMAN: A Woman, clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head! [Men start to turn to Dittman] She was pregnant, and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. Then, another sign appeared in the sky: a tremendous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads! Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment he was born. And she gave birth to a son, a male child, who shall rule all the nations with an iron sceptre. And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. And hear this! [The Men start to move towards Dittman] The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days! Does this not remind you of anyone?

FIRST DRUNK: Sounds like my mother after one too many shandies!

SECOND DRUNK: Yeah, sounds like his mother after one too many shandies!

FIRST DRUNK: Hey!

DITTMAN: The Lone Woman, or, as the Lord and all who follow His law know her: Juana Maria!

THIRD DRUNK: Wanna Marry Her? Yes please! [Laugh]

DITTMAN: Oh, but this is no laughing matter. The Lord hath sent Juana Maria, the Lone Woman, to a place of solitude, where no man could find her, alone for several years. She hath waited patiently for the coming of her Church, and now she hath been found! Hallelujah! But beware, for this sign is only the beginning – the end times are near, and soon our Lord Jesus Christ will return to judge the living and the dead. Tell me, sir, are you ready to meet your Lord and Saviour?

FIRST DRUNK: Well, I-

SECOND DRUNK: He’d be too drunk to notice!

DITTMAN: Too drunk to notice! Tut-tut! Do you know that the wicked will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, saith the the blessed apostle, Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who submit to homosexual acts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor verbal abusers, nor swindlers, will inherit the Kingdom of God. And that is what some of you are. But she can wash you anew!

BARMAN: What, again? Isn’t baptism for once and for all?

DITTMAN: In the final days, the Lord shall extend his mercy unto sinners, to be washed clean of their sin once more by the blessed virgin! Do not miss this opportunity to save your souls, gentlemen.

JEFFRIES: Carl? What in damnation are you doing? These are my people! Don’t feed them that gibberish!

DITTMAN: Jeffries! Pleasure to see you! Have you heard the good news? The Lord is on his way, any day now! [Men all start to look worried]

JEFFRIES: What are you on about?

DITTMAN: The Virgin has made her presence known in our beautiful Juana Maria. Come meet her yourself! You are all invited! Receive the blessing of the mother of God!

JEFFRIES: Don’t listen to him! She’s a fraud, remember? She’s not even from the island, let alone the mother of God! You see how these swindlers twist their lies to make money and fame? Do you see now?

THIRD DRUNK: Hey, what’s the harm? If she’s the real deal we get a one-way ticket to heaven, if not, I get to get wet with the Lone Woman! [Laugh]

DITTMAN: This way! [Men walk off with Dittman]

JEFFRIES: No! Stop! Come back here!

SCENE 3: Santa Barbara Mission Chapel

[Following a Mass, Rubio and Malquiares sit on pews, quietly meditating]

MALQUIARES: Father?

RUBIO: Yes, Malquiares?

MALQUIARES: …Do you believe that Juana Maria is the Blessed Virgin?

RUBIO: Dios mío. [Sighs and crosses himself.] No, Malquiares. I do not. Young Carl, he has not read enough of the scriptures. He says she has spoken to him and told him these things through the Spirit, but he has made such claims as to contradict the scriptures themselves, they betray his ignorance.

MALQUIARES: Do you believe Juana Maria spoke to him?

RUBIO: Perhaps. But is she the mother of God? No.

MALQUIARES: He wasn’t at Mass today.

RUBIO: I hear he is in the town, preaching his message to whoever will hear him. He wants followers.

MALQUIARES: Are you… worried, Father? The island-

RUBIO: Si. [Suddenly, the Sheriff and his men, Dr. Librado, Talawiyashwit and Nidever burst into the chapel.]

SHERIFF: Father Rubio?

MALQUIARES: What is this!?

RUBIO: Yes, Sheriff?

SHERIFF: I have a warrant for the release of that Lone Woman you’ve got hiding here. According to state law Captain Nidever is the girl’s legal guardian and it is his right to keep her in his own domicile until the right arrangements have been made. I have been made aware that Dr. Librado has a team coming from New York to look after and treat the girl for any potential illnesses. So, I need you to hand her over, Father.

MALQUIARES: Capitan!? What are you doing!

NIDEVER: You should ask your padre here the same damned question! Why don’t you tell him what happened to her family, eh Father? The ones that you ‘saved’?

TALAWIYASHWIT: He’s got a lot to answer for.

DR. LIBRADO: There’s no time for this! Where is the girl?

MALQUIARES: You can’t do this! She is safe here!

RUBIO: It’s okay, Malquiares. Please, Sheriff, follow me. [Rubio leaves, followed by Sheriff, Dr. Librado, and Nidever, with some police. Talawiyashwit goes to sit where Rubio was.]

TALAWIYASHWIT: Malquiares, is it?

MALQUIARES: Si, and you are?

TALAWIYASHWIT: Arasio Talawiyashwit. I’m from the Chumash settlement just north from here.

MALQUIARES: So what have you got to do with Juana Maria? Why are you doing this? She’s safe here!

TALAWIYASHWIT: Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure. Dr. Librado thinks I might be able to speak with her. I hope I can, at least a little bit. We’ve got to keep whatever we’ve got left, right?

MALQUIARES: What do you mean?

TALAWIYASHWIT: Sorry, I thought, you look like you might have some Indian in you.

MALQUIARES: My mother doesn’t remember which tribe. I don’t remember my father. We’ve always been here, with the Mission, as far as she’s concerned.

TALAWIYASHWIT: You might be Chumash. You know what this Mission did to Chumash when they first came?

MALQUIARES: I know it’s a complicated history. I don’t really like to bother myself too much with it all. Things are different now.

TALAWIYASHWIT: I suppose it is all you know. This Church, it teaches you to have so much faith in the World Above… But if you knew the stories of the people here, your ancestors, you’d learn a little more caution. Not everything in heaven is looking out for us. You think a world like this would exist if they were? You think Juana Maria would have lived as she has? You think her family would have died as they did?

MALQUIARES: What happened to her family?

TALAWIYASHWIT: You ought to ask your priest. He knows more about it than I do. But you see, this is why it’s so important I speak to Juana Maria. If she falls sick, we’ll have lost everything about her people. Another chapter in the spirit of this land lost forever, and more victims to the naivety that the Sun is watching us in benevolence…. Be careful, Malquiares. You have a good heart, I can see. But you are in free-fall. Even a hawk can fall victim to the hunter’s rifle. [Gets up and follows where Rubio left.]

MALQUIARES: [After sitting in silence for a while, gets down to his knees to pray] Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on us. [Suddenly, the door’s slam open, and Dittman with his men storm in].

DITTMAN: Malquiares! I have brought the people of Santa Barbara to pay witness to Juana Maria! Where is she?

MALQUIARES: Carl! You weren’t here. El Capitan, he came with police and took her to his house. She’s not here.

DITTMAN: What?!

MALQUIARES: No, Carl, wait!

DITTMAN: This is an outrage! Where is Father Rubio?!

MALQUIARES: He helped them to her. But Carl-

DITTMAN: Of course. And here am I, with my disciples at Kidron. This will not stand! Onwards! [Dittman and his men leave]

MALQUIARES: [Returns to his prayers] Have mercy on us all, for we are sinners.

(End of Act III)

ACT IV

SCENE 1: Nidever’s House

[Dr. Librado, Talawiyashwit, and Nidever sit around a bed in Nidever’s house, where Juana Maria lays. Juana Maria coughs throughout the scene.]

DR. LIBRADO: There you are, Juana Maria, are you comfortable now?

JUANA MARIA: [Coughs and yawns].

NIDEVER: She seems a little tired. Maybe we should let her rest…

DR. LIBRADO: Nonsense, Captain. We have too little time. You understand that Juana Maria here is the last potential source of information we have regarding the Nicolenos? If, God forbid, we were to lose her, we would lose all knowledge of her people, of an entire facet of mankind. We can’t let that happen, do you understand?

NIDEVER: Well… not really, Doctor.

DR. LIBRADO: [Annoyed] Didn’t Talawiyashwit and I tell you what the Mission did to her people?

NIDEVER: Sure, but shouldn’t we be looking after her, then? Instead of probing her for data like some kind of artefact?

DR. LIBRADO: Captain Nidever, if we don’t get this data from her she may as well have never existed. Her people may very well have never existed. All that would remain would be stories, fantasies, hearsay, concocted by people like Rubio and the Mission, to confuse and misappropriate, to twist the truth into subjective motives. An entire existent part of humanity would be wiped from the face of our consciousness, and nothing would remain but the shallow memories of people like your Malquiares. Excuse me if Juana Maria may have to experience some discomfort in the meantime, but this is for the survival of all Nicoloenos.

NIDEVER: But she is all Nicolenos!

DR. LIBRADO: No, Captain, her language is. [Dr. Librado indicates to Talawiyashwit to start speaking to Juana Maria. Talawiyashwit begins speaking in Chumash to her. She shows vague signs of understanding, but is not able to fully comprehend.]

NIDEVER: This is ridiculous. [Nidever gets up and begins to pace around as Talawiyashwit continues. A knock then at the door.]

DITTMAN: [From behind the door] Open up, Captain! We know she’s in there! What do you think your doing? Is this some kind of game to you? She is not your slave, she is a woman of God! Let her free!

NIDEVER: [Opens the door] Come in, Carl. Let’s talk. Something’s happened to you; it’s not your fault, that Rubio–

DITTMAN: Captain, I know you have your problems with the Church, but to use a girl as some kind of pawn in your spiteful game is crossing the line! I have prayed for your soul but there is only so far the Holy One will accept this insolence!

NIDEVER: No, you don’t know what you’re doing–

DITTMAN: For the first time in my life I do know what I’m doing, and it’s no thanks to you Captain.

NIDEVER: If that’s how it is, you are never working another ship with me again! You think the Sun only shines in your eyes! You think that God only speaks to your soul! Well that’s it! You’re done!

DITTMAN: We’ll be back Captain! [Exit]

NIDEVER: Stupid boy, thinks he knows something about salvation, I’ll show him salvation! [Storms back over to the bed] All right, out, both of you!

DR. LIBRADO: Captain, I paid good money to be here in this room with her. You can’t re-neg on our deal.

NIDEVER: The deal is fine, but today is not the day. Let her rest, let me rest! Here [hands Dr. Librado some money] take what I owe you for today, and come back tomorrow!

DR. LIBRADO: We’ll be back early tomorrow morning, Captain. Apologies.

NIDEVER: [Dr. Librado and Talawiyashwit leave. Nidever takes a breath, and slowly makes his way over to Juana Maria. He sits beside her, as she drifts off to sleep.] You get some sleep now. Everyone in this town wants their claws on you. But you never asked to be called Juana Maria, did you? Cast to the shore, picked up and moved around like cargo, like seal blubber. Lord, have mercy. I shoulda just left well enough alone. Jeffries and his lies and that boy and the drink.. Something took me to that island, and now I’ve got to take responsibility for it, because everyone else has gone off their chumps. The Santa Barbara circus freak. You don’t even understand what I’m saying. You don’t understand what any of us are saying. For all you’re concerned, we’re all your saviours, haha! Maybe it’s better that way, eh? Or maybe it’s exactly that that’s made everybody go mad over you. Like Carl. I don’t know. I’m not a Father. I’m an ‘adventurer’. You’re my treasure now. I thought I’d learned to hang it all up at Taos, but I guess not. Maybe I am just a pirate stealing my way across the seas until I reach the gallows? We never asked to be called what we’re called, you and I. Pirates or not, our real names are only known to Him. Never speak a word, Juana Maria. Your stories are too pure, and your words too sacred. Keep your stories close and your real name closer. If only you could understand mine…

SCENE 2: Dittman’s House

[Evelyn is tidying the house. Suddenly, Dittman bursts in, tired and slightly drunk.]

EVELYN: Carl! Where on earth have you been all day?

DITTMAN: I have been saving the souls of the wicked, Evelyn darling. I have received a mission from God!

EVELYN: Carl, you’re drunk again aren’t you? When are you going to come back to earth, huh? When are you going to come back to this? Look, I was so proud of you for joining the Church, and all you have been doing with Father Rubio, but you are going too far with this. You’ve left me alone here, when we’re meant to be raising a family!

DITTMAN: You moan all you want woman, I have discovered an angel!

EVELYN: There was a time you would say that about me.

DITTMAN: She’s been snatched from my hands, Evelyn! That damned Captain has taken her from me! I tried, and tried, and tried to pray for that man’s soul but he is lost, do you understand? To keep Juana Maria away from me, he is doing the work of the Devil. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if he were Satan himself!

EVELYN: Satan? Look, Carl, I know the Captain is a piece of work but he’s no Satan!

DITTMAN: No Satan! You should have seen him today, relentless! And yesterday, when he stormed into the Chapel, demanding his property! Does the Lord not tell us to sell all our earthly possessions if we are to follow Him? Is the Captain not a hoarder, and a thief who steals from the Lord? He has disappointed me at every turn! He has never bothered to listen to… the Lord! Even Father Rubio… But we must be the example to these people here, Evelyn, you understand? Juana Maria has shown me the light and she has told me that we must sell this all; we must move to the Mission, we must lead the people of Santa Barbara onwards, to the Kingdom!

EVELYN: Sell the house?

DITTMAN: It belongs to the Lord!

EVELYN: Carl, please, just calm down, listen to me, we can’t-

DITTMAN: All things are possible to the Lord, Evelyn. Do not prove to me that you are a succubus.

EVELYN: [Shocked] Carl…

DITTMAN: It’s all come to a head here, in Santa Barbara, I can feel it. The Lord has spoken to me regarding these things. A whore…

EVELYN: Carl, please… [Silence] Carl… I’m pregnant.

DITTMAN: A whore! [Smacks Evelyn] I knew it! Juana Maria has come and said to me, ‘I will show you the punishment of the great prostitute, who sits by many waters. With the kings of the earth committed adultery, and the inhabitants of the earth were intoxicated with the wine of her adulteries.’ Whore! Adulteress! Succubus!

EVELYN: Carl, stop! It’s yours!

DITTMAN: Impossible! I have remained chaste!

EVELYN: You’re deluded, Carl! You drink too much!

DITTMAN: It’s impossible! I haven’t time for this! The Lord has too much for me to do! I must pray. Why have you forsaken me, oh my God! [Runs upstairs]

EVELYN: Carl! Wait! [Chases after him]

SCENE 2: Santa Barbara Mission Chapel

[Rubio sits at the altar in quiet prayer. Malquiares enters, Rubio slowly gets up and turns to face him.]

RUBIO: Malquiares? Are you ok?

MALQUIARES: Father, we need to talk.

RUBIO: Please. [The two sit at a pew] What’s keeping you up at this hour?

MALQUIARES: Father, I spoke with that man Talawiyashwit.

RUBIO: The native following that Doctor around?

MALQUIARES: Si. I know the history around the Mission is complicated. I know the Church is not always right. But, you have to tell me what happened to the Nicolenos. It’s been haunting me ever since I spoke with him.

RUBIO: [Sighs] You must understand, Malquiares-

MALQUIARES: Please, just tell me, Father.

RUBIO: Okay. They were brought back to the Mission safely. They were all understandably frightened, traumatised. They were all women, aside from their leader, Black Hawk. They were distraught over the loss of Juana Maria. But none of us could understand a word they were saying, except for Black Hawk; he spoke English. We had orders from the Diocese to send them to Los Angeles, where they could be looked after, and someone could translate for them. The Church was insistent on keeping it all interior. We obliged, naturally; there was hardly any space for them all here anyway. The last I saw of them, they were in no better state than when they had arrived. Black Hawk was an old man. Stoic. He died first.

MALQUIARES: What happened to the rest?

RUBIO: There were stories… Conditions in Los Angeles were poor, accusations regarding some of the monks… They got sick, Malquiares. They all got sick. After Black Hawk, it was as though their souls had left their bodies. There are none left. You must understand, there was nothing we could have done…

MALQUIARES: That’s why you wanted to keep Juana Maria here?

RUBIO: Just her we could look after, keep isolated, treat, but all of them…

MALQUIARES: Well what use is that now?

RUBIO: [Confused] A soul redeemed is a soul-

MALQUIARES: What is the use, Father? Now the Capitan has her, well, maybe that Doctor will be able to treat her, hey? Felicidades! Buen trabajo! Tonto! A soul redeemed. Bull! Redeem her like you redeemed her sisters?

RUBIO: Listen to yourself, Malquiares. Do not blaspheme. We did everything we could.

MALQUIARES: I’m sorry Father, but everything you could was not enough. You know, the men at the port, they used to say that San Nicolas Island was cursed. The ghosts of mourning souls haunted it, kept sailors away. I think because ships would become torn up if they sailed too near. I believed them. But is not Santa Barbara also cursed? Is not the Mission cursed? The Church? Perhaps the ghosts of those Nicolenos were keeping Juana Maria alive. We have taken her from her ghosts. The exorcists and the scientists kill men and try to bury their ghosts. She survived alone for 18 years alongside them. Are we just jealous? Are we mistaken?

RUBIO: Jealous? Jealous of what?

MALQUIARES: Of their rest! Ghosts live on the dry land. We can’t stop sailing the seas. I know that my ghosts are here, at the Mission. But Juana Maria’s? You’re wrong, Father. And Talawiyashwit is wrong. And the Capitan is wrong. And Carl is wrong.

RUBIO: And you are right? How can you be so sure, Malquiares? Has the Lord spoken these things to you, too? It would seem there are many spirits and ghosts calling themselves the Holy One in Santa Barbara these days. At times like this the Church has the most important role of telling the truth!

MALQUIARES: And you have kept this secret from us all? And you let Carl and his drunkards parade around the town calling Juana Maria the Virgin? And you exorcise the ghosts of my family, and Talawiyashwit’s family, and Juana Maria’s family! [Standing up to leave] It is not the Holy One that speaks to me, Father. Just ghosts. [Storms out]

RUBIO: [To himself] Restraint and forgiveness, Heavenly Father, lend me your restraint and forgiveness. Three more days I shall endure Carl Dittman’s followers, then I shall make my voice heard. I pray that this decision be right. Amen.

SCENE 4: Santa Barbara Tavern

[Jeffries sits at the tavern with two punters.]

JEFFRIES: What do you mean the Mission lost her? To who?

FIRST PUNTER: Haha, now that you mention it, Brother Dittman said it was to that same Doctor you were talking about, Doctor Librado and his Indian!

SECOND PUNTER: You’re joking.

FIRST PUNTER: I’m not!

SECOND PUNTER: So you’ve been spinning us a lie this whole time?

FIRST PUNTER: He’s probably one of Dittman’s followers, trying to trick us into something.

SECOND PUNTER: But why try and recruit us?

FIRST PUNTER: Because all of Dittman’s followers are drunkards just like him! [Laughs]

JEFFRIES: No… but…

FIRST PUNTER: Come on; let’s stop wasting time with this clown.

SECOND PUNTER: Yeah, right. [Leave]

JEFFRIES: It doesn’t make any sense… There is no Lone Woman… I was there… Is this all some damned minstrel show? You enjoying this, Lord? [A Native American in traditional garb (B.H.), a white woman with a large necklace (Barbara) and a rough looking sailor (Nick) come to sit with Jeffries].

B.H.: All the seats are taken…

SAINT BARBARA: I’m sure this gentleman can move up. Excuse me?

JEFFRIES: Huh?

BARBARA: Would you mind moving up a bit, so we can sit down?

JEFFRIES: Sure, fine.

BARBARA: See? [All three sit as Jeffries is budged up into a corner.]

NICK: What were we talking about?

B.H.: Liberty.

BARBARA: You were telling us the story about those three men.

NICK: Ah yes; now I remember. This was when Mason was still around, before the law came along you see. Three men, one Mexican, one Negro, one Indian, had been accused of defrauding the Union during the War with a story about hidden treasure. Gold, they said, all throughout California. Really upset Lt. Abert, who was convinced they were working for the Mexicans.

BARBARA: Sounds a lot like my father; he had this whole story in his head that I’d run off to Mexico to fight against the States, when all I’d done was marry a Spaniard!

B.H.: Can’t say I could blame him, it’s not exactly like the Spanish are particularly savoury either.

BARBARA: Oh well, he’s dead now!

NICK: Anyway, as I was saying, Abert nearly had the three of them shot, and just like that, my assistant came running up to me from Sutter’s Mill with proof of the gold. Abert wanted to keep the whole thing hush-hush, and so not to alarm the troops let the three of them off to Sutter’s Mill without a warning. Sure they’re all doing pretty well for themselves now!

JEFFRIES: Nice story. Shame it’s a load of old cobblers, though. No way a Negro would have been let off to Sutter’s Mill like that. Not with Davis and his lot in the barracks.

B.H.: Haha! He’s got you there, Nick!

NICK: Serve did you?

JEFFRIES: Briefly. Didn’t see any fighting, though. Abert was right, we were all more interested in the gold. None of it was left by the time I got there, though. Nothing I could get my hands on at least.

NICK: Well, your story may be true, but I think mine is more enlightening.

B.H.: Enlightening how?

NICK: By demonstrating where liberty lies: in the ocean.

BARBARA: I’m lost.

NICK: The Pilgrims, when they sailed over to America, had the song of liberty in their hearts, no doubt about it. Freedom at last from the tumultuous oppression of the continent, a new start! But slowly and surely they settled in their ways, grew too close to the land, and found themselves sprouting the same law and oppression they had tried so valiantly to cut down. The same can be said of us, here, in California! You and your father, Barbara, my three boys and I! You can run on the land, but you can’t hide. To do that, you’ve got to go back to the sea.

B.H.: That’s easy for you to say, white man. I’ll have you know that for those who truly listen to the land and let grow the law that is right for it, there is no greater peace and solemnity, to greater truth. It says a lot more about the man than it does about the land if his law is oppressive and cruel.

NICK: I’m sure your chieftains and leaders imposed rules unfairly and judgements unjustly. Terrible crimes against God and nature are reported in the annals

B.H.: We travelled throughout these lands with the vision of a hawk and the wit of a coyote. We travelled under moonlight and with cautious understanding of the World Above. This we did by listening to the land, and when injustices and cruelties were enacted, the land bled. But you, you Europeans and Christians, you see the land bleed black and the bones bare all and you find solace in escape, thinking to yourselves that the Great Above has promised you something that you have yet to find, some land you have yet to claim, a land which will never bleed, in spite of your harshness to it.

NICK: I think you are being unfair.

B.H.: I think not. Read your own scriptures and see for yourselves. The European sickness is a cause unto itself; it listens not to the Great Above or to the Lord of their salvation. You use a deadly fertilizer for your crops.

NICK: Oh, give it a break. I’d like to see the Lord use his justice in your favour! We won, and you lost, and that’s all this comes down to. The Lord struck you down and made room for us, here.

JEFFRIES: And what have we found?

NICK: Excuse me?

JEFFRIES: Pirates and soldiers and misers and punters – all that we’ve found here is Europe! Hey, I’m an Englishman, I should know. There was an adventure here, years ago. But now what? We’ve reached land’s end. Where do next? There’s nothing over the ocean but more of the same.

NICK: This is victory, not misery! Just because you’ve got the mind to try and find happiness at the bottom of a bottle doesn’t mean that history is the story of humanity’s alcoholism!

B.H.: Just because you’ve got a mind to try and find happiness in Empire doesn’t mean that history is the story of humanity’s travels over the ocean.

NICK: You wouldn’t understand, not having read Homer.

B.H.: Was Homer from the tribe of Judah?

BARBARA: Please, enough! Every time we go out for a drink you two bicker about some useless nonsense and I’m left to pick up the pieces. Can we try, just try, to have a nice night out? Please?

NICK: But-

BARBARA: I went to see one of Christy’s Minstrel shows the other day oh it was great fun! [Jeffries is alerted at the mention of a minstrel show]

NICK: Oh please.

B.H.: That rubbish.

BARBARA: What? They’re delightful!

JEFFRIES: [Laughing to himself] Minstrel show… [To others] Here, I got a joke. A man said to his priest, ‘That was an excellent sermon, but you’ve nicked it from somewhere.’ Naturally the priest was confused; he’d stayed up all night writing it from scratch. The man said that the next day he would bring a book containing every word the priest had used. The next morning, he showed up with a dictionary! [All laugh]

BARBARA: Marvelous!

B.H.: Whatever troubles Adam had,

No man could make him sore

By saying when he told a jest

‘I’ve heard that joke before’.

I’m sure your priest would appreciate that!

BARBARA: You paint a wonderful picture.

NICK: Well, as Homer once remarked,

In the interim, fond of mischief-telling,

The rainbow goddess flies to Helen;

Most modern farts I ever knew

When set on fire burn only blue

Or simple red, but when behind

The nimble goddess lets out wind,

You see not only reds and blues,

But all the colours painters use.

BARBARA: Oh my!

NICK: [Amidst laughter] Gosh, won’t you look at the time! I had no idea it was so late. We should be off.

BARBARA: Agreed. The sun will be up soon enough. [The three get up to leave]

B.H.: Farewell, young man. I hope you find what you are looking for. [Jeffries, bemused, stares as they walk off.]

JEFFRIES: [Awkwardly looking around to make sure no one sees, Jeffries starts to pray] O Lord, George sure made me sore. But what use is it trying to show him the dictionary? I’m getting sick of smelling my colourful vapours. Can I really blame him for letting one rip? You got a funny sense of humour, Lord. Thank you for lifting the veil from my eyes. Amen.

ACT V

SCENE 1: Nidever’s House

[Loud noise outside, the protest of Dittman’s men. Juana Maria lies on her bed, physically weak. Dr. Librado and Talawiyashwit tend to her, while Nidever paces around the house. Suddenly, the Sheriff walks in.]

NIDEVER: Tell us, what can you do? This racket has been going on for days; it’s making her ill!

SHERIFF: I’m sorry Captain there really isn’t much we can do. The Mission hasn’t filed a complaint, and they own the land. As far as the law is concerned, the picket is completely legal. If you want them to stop, you gotta go out there and talk to them.

NIDEVER: Talk to them? These lunatics would tear me to bits if I took one step out of that door, let alone what they’d do to Juana Maria!

SHERIFF: Well I’m sorry Captain I really can’t do much else.

NIDEVER: Here. [Hands the Sheriff some cash] Would you at least do this for me? Take this cash and get us some milk and bread, maybe some cheese. There’s no point making a hunger strike out of this.

SHERIFF: Can do Captain. I really am sorry I can’t do anything more. Hell, if it were my land they were trampling on I’d have the lot of them shot. But the Mission doesn’t want any intervention.

NIDEVER: I understand Sheriff.

SHERIFF: All the best, Captain. [Leaves]

NIDEVER: [Walks back over to the other three] How is she?

DR. LIBRADO: She’s weak, but talkative. Talawiyashwit seems to be getting through to something.

NIDEVER: Weak. Lord Almighty. There’s got to be something we can do to help her. Why don’t you give her some more sweetcorn? She loves the stuff.

TALAWIYASHWIT: Captain, I understand that this is difficult, but Juana Maria is doing the best she can.

NIDEVER: I don’t care about your work I just want her to be all right! I though you were a Doctor for Christ’s sake.

DR. LIBRADO: I told you Captain, the medical team I sent for are on their way. For now, we have to keep her talking. It’s the best way to keep her alive.

NIDEVER: So what have you got from her?

DR. LIBRADO: Talawiyashwit?

TALAWIYASHWIT: I have been trying to translate the song she sings to herself. We haven’t been able to establish dialogue.

NIDEVER: And?

TALAWIYASHWIT: She seems to be saying the following: ‘I live contented, because I can see the day when I shall be free from this island.’ It’s a rough translation, but has the spirit. It is a prayer of sorts.

NIDEVER: Oh, God, [Nidever breaks out in tears]

DR. LIBRADO: Pull yourself together, Captain! She is the one who has to be saved, not you! Get him out of here! [Talawiyashwit takes Nidever to the corner of the room, away from Dr. Librado and Juana Maria].

TALAWIYASHWIT: Are you alright, Captain?

NIDEVER: [Pulling himself together, embarrassed] Yes, yes, I’m fine. Just… stuffy in here. That damned noise…

TALAWIYASHWIT: You must remember you freed her Captain. She looks up to you more than anyone. I might not know the words she speaks, but I can understand the gratitude she feels, to you especially.

NIDEVER: Freedom. Ha! I’m just her damned warden, moving her from cell to cell, from solitary to medical. What freedom has she got here?

TALAWIYASHWIT: The comfort of community.

NIDEVER: Some sweetcorn? Hooey!

TALAWIYASHWIT: It’s more than just sweetcorn.

NIDEVER: Is it? Sometimes I think she’d be better off back there.

TALAWIYASHWIT: How about you give it a shot then, Captain? 18 years alone on an island inhospitable for human survival. You wouldn’t last a week.

NIDEVER: Is that right? You know, I’ve been to seances, and they’re all a stuff and nonsense, fabrications. But you look into the eyes of everyone at that table, and they’re all trying so desperately to believe. I don’t think that’s something you can ever understand, being an Indian. You try and get a white man to listen to the hawks and he will tell you what the species is. So no, you’re right, I couldn’t do the time that Juana Maria has done; now leave me be. [Talawiyashwit leaves. Nidever then falls to his knees, the noise outside quiets, and he begins to pray]. Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, hold me in your arms today and save me from the storm. What more can you take? What left is there to give? With your help we have travelled the world, and find ourselves trapped by our own lack of imagination. We thank you, Lord, for all you have shown, the beauty you have created, the knowledge you have brought. Lord, just as our forefather Adam once did, you sit alone in Eden, in hopeful expectation of our second coming. Hasten our journey to you, that we may find peace in your bosom and shelter in your truth. Lord, we beg of you, protect the soul of Juana Maria, a visitor from a kingdom like yours, that we may be forgiven for the pain we have put her through. Lord, sew peace into the hearts of the men outside, the quarrelsome young man for whom the stories we tell are too real, and the stakes too high, that they may see the wisdom at your foundations and the futility of their violence. Lord, we pray for the whole Church, and all of your holy people, that they may take your trust in kind, and shepherd your people home without abuse of the Spirit. Lord, I pray for the forgiveness of my sins, and hope for the watchful eye of Saint Barbara and Saint Nicholas to keep us safe in these tumultuous times. Hold not thy peace, O God of my praise, In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, Amen.

SCENE 2: Santa Barbara Mission Grounds

[Dittman stands on a platform, speaking to a large crowd of believers. On either side are signs for the Juana Maria movement. In the crowd the drunks, the punters, policemen and sailors are mixed in with Malquiares, Jeffries, and Rubio, obscured in the commotion.]

JEFFRIES: Malquiares! What are you doing here?

MALQUIARES: I could ask you the same thing.

JEFFRIES: I’ve been trying to get in to see George the last few days. When’s Carl going to let up on all of this nonsense?

MALQUIARES: He’s in a bad way…

JEFFRIES: I think he’s about to speak!

DITTMAN: People of Santa Barbara! May the Lord bless your souls! May Juana Maria greet you with open arms! Hallelujah!

ALL: Hallelujah!

DITTMAN: As we picket here for the third day going, we hope that the Lord’s divine mercy may free us of this great burden! For we have been tasked with the liberation of a beauteous soul too delicate to imagine! That soul is Juana Maria, the Virgin Mother of Our Saviour!

ALL: Hallelujah!

DITTMAN: We stand here on the grounds of the Holy Catholic Church, as an imposter of the faith, a goat within our midst, keeps the Virgin captive. We pray to the Lord our God, and to the Saints in the heavens above: release her to us! Show us the light! Grant us peace! Amen!

ALL: Amen!

DITTMAN: I’d like to tell you all a story. When I came here to Santa Barbara, I didn’t hold a single belief in my heart except the belief in myself. A wretched sinner I was, I deserted myself to whores and pirates, to their lustful ways I succumbed. I am sure that many of you here have too experienced the damnation that creeps throughout the streets of Santa Barbara. Many of you are still enraptured by it now, and this is why you have come to see the Blessed Virgin as we await the coming of her son in glory.

ALL: Amen!

DITTMAN: In sin I travelled across the seas, in dreams from the land of death to the land of life, and there I found, in a miraculous shroud, Juana Maria herself. 18 years she had been alone, nourished only by the fruit of the Lord and her answered prayers. This island had a peace to it I had never felt before, and so I rushed back to the break of dawn, enlightened, back home to the True Church, and gathered my men to fulfil this prophecy. I entered the doors Roman Church and I took my crew to San Nicolas Island, the island the Lord had guided me to with little more than a psalm, and behold, the very same girl I had dreamed of was there, awaiting our arrival!

ALL: Hallelujah!

DITTMAN: Now the sin of Santa Barbara has taken hold of her, she has abandoned her Father, and men from my own vessel have taken her captive! But do not fear, for we know that the Lord is a good God, and a king above kings! Hold not thy peace, O god of my praise! Strike down the wicked from their thrones- [A shot is heard, Dittman falls to the ground, screams from the crowd, the lights go dark, people flee]

SCENE 3: Santa Barbara Mission Grounds

[People are leaving a Mass, dressed in funeral clothes. Rubio stands outside offering people consolations. Evelyn emerges, in tears.]

RUBIO: It was kind of you to pay your respects, Evelyn.

EVELYN: It is what Carl would have wanted. You know, I thought that he had gone mad, but seeing the amount of people she has brought together. A little part of me believes…

RUBIO: Her story will nourish the child, as will his.

EVELYN: God bless you Father. I shall see you next week.

RUBIO: Farewell, child. [Evelyn leaves. Malquiares and Talawiyashwit emerge.]

MALQUIARES: Thank you for the service, Father.

TALAWIYASHWIT: Yes, it was beautiful. I am sure Juana Maria would have been proud to see it.

RUBIO: All thanks belong to the Lord. How are you, Malquiares? It has been a little time.

MALQUIARES: Yes, just over two months I think.

RUBIO: Two months, that’s right.

MALQUIARES: I am… better, Father. I have not apostatised, do not worry. I am attending a church closer to the reservation; I have taken up residence with Talawiyashwit and his family.

RUBIO: I see. No more sailing?

MALQUIARES: No, no more sailing. I have learnt a lot in these past months. I am looking forward to learning more.

RUBIO: God bless you, Malquiares.

MALQUIARES: Father, I am sorry the last time we spoke was so angry. You have to understand that-

RUBIO: All is forgiven, child. I hope I have your forgiveness too.

MALQUIARES: Of course, Father.

RUBIO: And what of your university friend, Talawiyashwit?

TALAWIYASHWIT: He is back in New York. He expects to publish a paper on Juana Maria soon. I don’t expect to see him again.

RUBIO: I see.

MALQUIARES: Well, goodbye Father. God bless.

RUBIO: God bless. [Malquiares and Talawiyashwit walk off. Nidever emerges.] Captain.

NIDEVER: Father.

RUBIO: There have been too many of these as of late, don’t you agree?

NIDEVER: I do. But I’m sure Carl would have approved of the service. If not for his sake then for Juana Maria’s.

RUBIO: I hope so. I hope he has found peace.

NIDEVER: I hope she has found freedom.

RUBIO: It was good of you to have her baptised.

NIDEVER: She seemed happy to do it.

RUBIO: How is the investigation going?

NIDEVER: Sheriff told me it was a misfire. One of Carl’s followers was trying to pull a cigar out of his pocket and the gun just went off. Naturally the police aren’t taking his word for it, but they’re struggling to find a motive.

RUBIO: I see. Well, I pray that justice is swift.

NIDEVER: Agreed. Thank you, by the way, for granting the burial request Father. I know it might seem selfish of me. But it feels right to have her close to the house. It’s as though an angel asked me.

RUBIO: Forgiveness, Captain, is all I ask. I ought to have shut down the picket sooner, I was weak; I ought to have protected-

NIDEVER: You are forgiven Father. Will you forgive me too?

RUBIO: Of course, my son. Where will you go now?

NIDEVER: Off for a drink, meeting Jeffries at the tavern.

RUBIO: I’m glad.

NIDEVER: See you. [Nidever leaves, the last to walk off. Rubio goes to close the chapel doors.]

SCENE 4: Santa Barbara Tavern

[Jeffries sits at a table, in good spirits. Nidever walks over to greet him.]

JEFFRIES: George! How was the funeral?

NIDEVER: A funeral’s a funeral. You’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. It was nice, though. Ol’ Rubio did her well. I’m sure she’s resting happy.

JEFFRIES: Good on you you old pirate. You’re a bonafide saint: grand adventures, wrestling demons, saving princesses, standing up to corruption!

NIDEVER: Give it a rest. You really do speak poppycock, don’t you?

JEFFRIES: Don’t we all? So what’s next, George?

NIDEVER: You know, I’ve been thinking about it. I think it’s time I wrote my memoir. I mean, the seal-hunting business is down the toilet, I might as well make a buck from all these stories I’ve got. Something fun to read around a campfire.

JEFFRIES: What’s in a story, eh? …I’m sure Carl would’ve liked to read it.

NIDEVER: Yeah… And you?

JEFFRIES: You know, I want to go back home. Something is off about America. The place is starting to make me sick. Feels like a storm is coming or something. I don’t know.

NIDEVER: Back to England then?

JEFFRIES: For the time being. Who knows where I’ll go after that. I’m not quite ready to write the memoir just yet. There’s plenty to explore in ol’ Blighty!

NIDEVER: Excitement awaits!

JEFFRIES: Haha, something like that. [Both drink]

NIDEVER: [To himself] What’s in a story, eh?

END