The State of Sol (Pilot Episode) (2025) - Radio Comedy
The State of Sol is an unproduced six-part satirical audio series written between 2025 and 2026. Presented as a series of official state radio broadcasts, the show follows the delusional leader of a one-man London micronation (operated entirely out of Flat 23B). This episode, Deliveroo Cargo Cult, explores the birth of a state religion after a neighbour's takeaway is mistakenly delivered to the wrong door.
Episode 1: Deliveroo Cargo Cult
Cast:Host
Leader
Documentarian
Actor
Angel
Theologian
Sam
Reporter
Poet
Weatherman
Scene 1 - Opening
[Silence, then booming out with a ridiculous amount of reverb, drumroll in the back.]
Host: The sun shines forever bright on this glorious country of ours, yes it shines like a big metal thing, here, on the State of Sol!
[National Anthem plays, a cheaply orchestrated European style anthem which changes key and is completely overblown with flourishes.]
[The Host returns with the same ridiculous reverb.]
Host: Welcome to our listeners around the world, tuned in undoubtedly in jealousy and ambition to one day gain citizenship in this magnificent State of ours! We welcome you with the open arms of a proud and happy nation on whom the sun shines every day, all day, like a kitchen foil. As is customary with our national broadcasts, we shall begin with a statement from the glorious Leader himself, Sol!
Scene 2: Address
[Anthem refrain, a little too long. The Leader speaks with a slightly put on upper-class accent, though still with the same unease and uncertainty as our Host's more middle-class demeanour.]
Leader: I greet my citizens [pauses, starts quietly greeting himself slightly away from the mic] AND [pause for dramatic effect] I greet those who are not my citizens [he makes gasps and remarks away from mic 'so benevolent' in disbelief], as today is indeed a great, great day in this State, State, day, because, I have received from the heavens above a sign - a miracle, I do not hesitate to say - yes, a miracle, as miraculous as the day this country was formed. For today, unlike any other day, I have seen an angel, clothed in the blue of the bright sky above, who has given me word of a god unlike any other god, a god who has gifted me through this angel the mandate of heaven, ambrosia wrapped in a humble brown bag - the mandate of our new god, Sam (which I believe must be short for some name unbeknownst to us mortals). Yes indeed, my citizens, and non-citizens, for in this bag the finest food I have ever eaten was contained, food unmistakably heavenly, fit for a god, and given to me without charge or prayer, but in all faith and honesty - yes, that is correct, the god Sam has given me his blessing. Let this put to rest the rumours I have heard circulating around, especially from the Kingdom of Xavier, that I am not divinely endowed, for indeed I am, endowed with the power from heaven above! So let us rejoice, my dearly beloved, rejoice in the name of Sam, and his blue, winged riders, yes, rejoice, rejoice!
[Fake applause, as the anthem refrain plays again, this time slightly too short, so that the applause finished after the music slightly. The Host returns, though the reverb is more manageable now.]
Host: OoOh wow, amazing words from our Leader, let us all praise Sam ['audience' starts praising Sam in warbly voices]. As we wish to advance our Leader's cause in having his title of King officially recognised by the Micronational Council, we move on now to an independent theological assessment of this miracle and why it qualifies our Leader's claims, indisputably, and without doubt, and completely 100%, ok?
Scene 3: Documentary
[Sound of a street outside, the Documentarian speaks in a quiet, nerdy, uncertain voice.]
Documentarian: I am standing where the unbelievable has recently just taken place. Though of course, it is believable, because our Leader has told us about it. Yes, right on this very spot, an angel appeared to his grace, to deliver a package of untold riches. But the plain-ness of this road fails to give the event justice, so we have produced an audio recreation of the moment that will go down in history as earth-shattering. Warning: the following recreation is played by loyal actors hand-picked by Sol and not the Leader or an Angel themselves.
[The sound of the road cuts. We hear jingling, the sound of lush synthetic bells marking the footsteps of the Leader. Then they stop. The Actor, playing the Leader, puts on his most glorious possible voice, quivering with majesty like a North Korean newsreader.]
Actor: Wait! As I take this humble walk, to feel the plight of my people, who so often must walk, due to the sanctions placed cruelly upon us by the imperialists, my mind is anticipating something with the pattern recognition I have been armed with by my writings - yes! [Now rushing, as if the sound of the words is more important than the actual content] Here where this stone lies has been rendered a blessing unto my people, yes!
[Suddenly, an enormous synthetic harmony bursts into sound, as the Angel emerges from thin air, speaking in an effete, almost maternal tone.]
Angel: Great ruler, true master, second to one and none on earth, I come to you bearing a gift from above. [More lush synths as the bag is brought out]. Here is your order, sir. I hereby declare you the one and only member on earth to be brought in to the Order of Sam. [Heavenly choirs sing].
Actor: Well of course I knew all this would transpire due to my immense scientific intellect, but now I have discovered the name of the one who beckons, the one on whom my life depends, addressed in all poetry to the lands adjacent to my own, two becoming one, almighty Sam. Fare thee well, Angel, for, though my eyes are equipped with learning to see you, one glimpse from the citizenry and they shall perish - for indeed your spectre is too bright, and I should have them killed for sullying it with their dimness. Be gone, Angel, and send my regards to Sam above.
Angel: Thank you sir, please give me 5 stars. [Ascends in a synthetic flurry, which fades back to the sound of the road. Tinned applause, cut off short as the Documentarian speaks again.]
Documentarian: A remarkable thing to observe, remarkable to hear from my own lips the declaration that it is true! For it surely cannot be, at least in my dim understanding of Sol's science, but yet, indeed, we know it's truth, for you and I just heard it take place right there. [The sound of the road fades, the Documentarian is back inside.] I came here to speak to a leading theologian of our time to better understand the miracle of the last hour. Fr. Sol, how are you?
Theologian: I am well, thanks be to Sam.
Documentarian: What can you tell me about our new god Sam, and why he has chosen our people here in the State of Sol?
Theologian: An excellent question, Mr. Sol, I'm glad you asked. Sam we believe not to be his real name, but a tetragrammaton for a divine excellence we simply cannot comprehend, with the exception of most likely our Leader. From our investigation we believe him to be a god of some kind of food, meat and potatoes, perhaps, and in possession of an extraordinary divine oil in which these foodstuffs have been fried. Now we have not been given access to the bag, as per our own feebleness, but we can at the very least imagine what it was like. [The two muse on their imagination, going 'mm, yum yum', and smacking their lips].
Documentarian: Truly remarkable. [Belly growls.]
Theologian: Indeed. And we can take from just how delicious this meal must have been, and the word of our Leader, that this must have been the greatest meal ever produced, a meal beyond human creation, a meal of the gods, and that it's being given to our Leader is proof of his divine right to rule. You see, it goes from the Order of Sam, to the Angel, to our Leader, who then gives us his orders.
Documentarian: And as a matter of fact the great Leader is in fact a member of the Order of Sam.
Theologian: Yes indeed, in some ways, the Order of Sam belongs more to our Leader than even to Sam.
[Suddenly a knocking can be heard, loud. The room goes silent. Knocking again. Then Sam, muffled outside the door.]
Sam: Hello?! I'm from next door, I'm Sam. I know you're there I can see you're lights are on! Did you take my Deliveroo order?! [More knocking] Hello?!?!
Scene 4: Breaking News
[Sol mutters 'shit' to himself and scrambles closer to the microphone, making a Breaking News sting with his voice, 'dun dun dun dun dun'. He whispers into the mic as the knocking continues, and Sam continues to yell.]
Reporter: We interrupt this programme with breaking news, it appears that, uhh, m-M-a-s, yes, the demon Mas, enemy of Sam, has come to challenge the State of Sol for its legitimacy. We will not back down! Keep quiet, and wait it out! Our steadfastness will prove our Leader's claims!
[Reporter goes away from the mic and starts making weird noises, 'zubyzub' in a hushed tone. The knocking continues, until eventually Sam gives up, muttering 'for fuck's sake', before leaving. Sol returns to the mic.]
Reporter: I believe… [waiting to hear if Sam returns] I believe that we have been successful, the deceitful Mas has gone. All glory to our wise and brave Leader! [Tinned applause, sudden silence. A pause as Sol listens to see if Sam will come again, muttering under his breath 'will he come back?', before carrying on.]
Scene 5: Cultural Segment
Host: We move now to our cultural segment, this week we have the talented poet and musician Sol to perform for us a song in devotion to Sam. Take it away, Sol.
[What follows is a full-on nasheed in the style of Saleel al-Sawarim about the delivery driver as a rider of the apocalypse, slaughtering the agents of Mas, and bringing divine takeaways to the believers in Sam, citizens of Sol. A nasheed, just like ISIS.]
[Tinned applause follows the song, as the Host speaks over the applause, like the end of a BBC 3 live performance.]
Host: And that is all we have time for today, thank you for joining us here in the State of Sol. If you are interested in becoming a citizen please contact us at this address, but be aware it may take some time to process you as immigration is currently swamped with applications. We'll leave you now with the weather report. Glory to Sol! Glory to Sam! [Tinned cheers.]
Scene 6: Weather Report
[Suddenly the noise completely stops, and the dry voice of the Weatherman comes in, no effects, nothing.]
Weatherman: And we can look forward to sunshine all the rest of this week here in Flat 23B, with bright spells in the front room all morning, and in the kitchen all evening. Just a bit of coolness on the bathroom floor as we head into the night, but overall, a very pleasant week ahead. That's all from me. Bye-bye.